Somethin' Tells Me it's All Happenin' at the Zoo ...

I do believe it, I do believe it's true ...

In fact, right now you can see blue, brown, and orange giraffes at the Palm Beach Zoo. I kid you not! Where do you think I got the idea?!?

So this month flew by, huh?!? I swear the time/space continuum is in overdrive and the planet is wildly spinnin' out of control. Yup, we'll be crashin' soon ... December 21, 2012, to be exact. Which brings me to "National Escape Day!" Yesirree, you go ahead and figure out how to get outta here alive and I'm totally on board!

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's card project was created for my sweet l'il nephews birthday. The giraffes are from SU's retired "Wild Things" collection and the sentiment is from PTI's "Faux Ribbon" set. The "grass" was created in a Cuttlebug embossing folder, and the l'il clumps of grass were creating using a (surprise!) grass clump punch.

If you clicky on the photo, you can see where I created some clouds with a template and chalk ink. I punched out some l'il balloons with (surprise!) a balloon punch, and tied 'em to the giraffes tail with embroidery floss.

Soooooo, yesterday Sheila and I took her wild-child, Reid, to the barber for a haircut.

"Make it short," Sheila said, "with a bare patch above his left ear, but longer on the right side so that it covers his right ear. I also want the left side burn above his left ear and the right side burn below his right ear."

The barber, a nice man who obviously didn't realize who he was dealing with, looked puzzled and said, "I don't think I can do that."

Sheila snapped, "I don't know why not ... that's the way you cut it the last time I brought Reid here!"

Ouch!

I'll be back before you know it with my special Valentine's Day gift ... just for you! You can hardly wait, huh?

~Hugs!

• Card Stock: Bazzill Basics; Stamper's Select, Papertrey Ink; Kiwi Kiss, Pacific Point, and Tangerine Tango by Stampin' Up
• Stamps: Giraffes from "Wild Things" Collection, Stampin' Up; Sentiment by Papertrey Ink
• Ink: "Sky Blue" Chalk Ink by Clearsnap; "Pacific Point" Dye Ink by Stampin' Up; "Chocolate" and "Autumn Terracotta" Dye Ink by Close to My Heart
• Accessories: DMC Embroidery Floss
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; Cuttlebug "Distressed Stripes" Embossing Folder; Nestabilities Large Classic Circle Die; Grass Punch by Carlacraft; Balloon Punch, Unknown; 1/16" Hand-held Punch by Fiskars; Dimensionals; Cloud Template by Moi

I Think That I Shall Never See ...

a rubber stamp that I don't need. Wait. No. That's not right ... well, it's true but it's not right. Oh. I remember: I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. Not necessarily this tree, though.

I swear, someone needs to administer electric shock treatments to me. I was inspired to create this card by some cards I know I saw somewhere in Blogdom ... but I can't remember where. I do recall that the blogger in question had used the same tree ... from SU's "Season of Friendship" set, and punched glossy images from magazines. Wherefore art thou, brilliant one? Well, as soon as I find her, or remember where I saw it, I'll edit this post to properly credit the artiste.

EDITED TO ADD: Amy very kindly directed me to Lydia who is indeed the artiste who created this very kewl card project. You can see Lydia's cards HERE. Thanks so much Amy! Oh. And for being sooooooo nice, you've received a FREE, life-time subscription to my blog!

I stamped the aforementioned tree and small birdie with "Timber Brown" solvent ink, then punched out the leaves, the large bird, and the bunnies from vintage sheet music using MS punches. I used some K&Company designer paper for the grass and flowers. As always, you can clicky on the photo for a ginormous view.

I created clouds with a hand-drawn cloud template and fluid chalk ink, then punched out and sanded the sun. All of the critters, the flowers, and most of the leaves were layered for dimension ... using dimensionals. Duh.

Finally, I added some Ranger Inkssentials "Matte Accents" to the l'il bird for some shine ... 'cuz I like my birdies shiny! Next time, I'd add some "Matte Accents" to the tree as well.

Sooooo, after all the dark-rye-bread-hubbub had subsided (see yesterday's post, below), Sheila was complaining to me that her DH refused to learn how to operate a PC.

"I've tried to get him to realize how important it is, since all our financial records are stored on disks." she explained.

"What if something happens to me?" she turned to ask as her poor, defenseless DH wandered through the kitchen ... looking for dark rye bread, I think.

"It's important, Sluggo! You wouldn't know what our assets are," she continued.

"Honey," he replied, "if something happened to you, I wouldn't need any money."

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Bazzill Basics; Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: K&Company
• Stamps: Tree and Small Bird from "Season of Friendship" by Stampin' Up
• Ink: "Timber Brown" Solvent Ink by Tsukineko; Dark Moss Fluid Chalk Ink; Chestnut Roan Fluid Chalk Ink
• Accessories: Vintage (1930's) Sheet Music; Cloud Template; Inkssentials "Matte Accents" by Ranger
• Tools: 1 1/2" Circle Punch by Marvy Uchida; Small Sakura Punch by Carlacraft; Leaf, Standing Bunny, Sitting Bunny, and Dove Punches by Martha Stewart Crafts; Dimensionals; Large Jagged Edge Decorative Scissors by Provo Craft

Awwwww, Love Birds!

Hey, there you are! So today is "Punch the Clock" Day ... and "Thomas Crapper Day." I decided I wouldn't touch Crapper Day, and punched the clock instead. Turns out it might have been better to celebrate Thomas Crapper Day as I've broken four small bones in my right hand ... and a clock. Crapper ...

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's 15 Minute card project was created super-fast using a dollar stamp from Michaels and a scrap of card stock that I ran through the 'Bug in the "Heart Blocks" folder. The card stock, from Close to My Heart, has a loverly white core ... perfect for sanding. So I did. You can get this kewl card stock HERE.

My dollar stamp was inked with Chocolate Chip dye ink, stamped and then paper pieced on to Vintage Cream card stock. I created a l'il tag with my Making Memories tag maker, added some twill and grosgrain ribbon, some embroidery floss, and three matching brads from CTMH.

Finally, I added some dots of white paint to the birdies using a Sharpie Paint Pen.

Easy-peasy and ready to serve in just 15 Minutes!

BAWDY ALERT:

Warning: the following Sheila story is rated "R." If you are easily offended, or dislike sexual innuendo, please exit now.

Soooooo, I was hangin' around Sheila's kitchen yesterday when her DH strolled in the door carrying a bag full of bread.

"What on earth possessed you to buy so many loaves of dark rye bread?" Sheila asked.

"Well, Marty told me that since he started eating dark rye bread three times a day he can run 5 miles, do a full days worth of heavy labor, then make passionate love to his wife for hours at a time!"

"FOUR loaves!" Sheila exclaimed, "it'll get hard, you idiot!"

"How does everyone know about this stuff but me?" he sighed.

Give it a minute; it'll grow on you ...

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Close to My Heart; Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: NONE. Again
• Stamp: "Love Birds" by studio g
• Ink: Chocolate Chip Dye Ink by Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Twill Ribbon; Grosgrain Ribbon; DMC Embroidery Floss; Brads by Close to My Heart; Metal Edge Tag by Making Memories
• Tools: Die Cut Machine; "Heart Blocks" Embossing Folder by Provo Craft; Corner Rounder Punch; 1/4" Circle Punch by Stampin' Up; Sharpie Paint Pen; Sanding Block

An All-Australian Valentine

So, being that it's "Australia Day" today, I thought I'd make a Valentine in honor of Australia. I used colors from the Australian flag ... well, not the Kraft card stock ... or the chocolate brown ... that's in honor of chocolate ... but otherwise, it's 100% Australian ... and, as it turns out, 100% American. How 'bout that; a patriotic, multi-national Valentine! For a larger look-see, just clicky on the photo.

I don't know about you, but I'm gettin' mighty sick of making Valentines. I can't seem to stop, though. It's a problem ... I think I need a 12-step program.

ONward Hoarding-Card-Makers:

Today's card project was created using this cute stamp from All Night Media ... and lots of distressed card stock. There's something very satisfying about shredding card stock ... or is that just me? I also used grosgrain ribbon and rope twine from Stampin' Up. But, as usual, no designer paper.

For all the deets, check out the supply list, below.

So, Sheila and I decided to do some thrift store shopping this weekend. We're happily yakkin' away when we notice a police car on our tail, lights flashing, and siren blaring.

Sheila pulls over and while she waited for the policeman to get out of his car, she said to me, "Watch this ... it works every time."

The officer leaned in to the car and told Sheila that he'd clocked her doing 60 in a 45 mph zone and asked for her name.

Sheila said, "I am Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan here visiting my daughter."

I swear to God that the cop put away his summons book and pen, and said,"Well, ummm, okay, but don't let me catch you speeding again." And off we went, ticket-free.

Seriously; try it!

~cHeERS!

• Card Stock: Bazzill Basics; Papertrey Ink; Stampin' Up
• Designer Paper: NONE ... again.
• Stamp: Lips by All Night Media; Sentiment by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Real Red" by Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Grosgrain Ribbon and Rope Twine by Stampin' Up
• Tools: Distressing Tool, including Scissors and Fingernails

What? This Old (Lookin') Thing?

Hey, there you are! So happy "National Handwriting Day," "National Pie Day," and "Measure Your Feet Day." I can't decide which I'll celebrate; I suffer from option paralysis. It's a rare medical condition but with proper medication, it's pretty much under control now ...

ONward Hoarding Card Makers:

Today's vintage-inspired card project was created for my V-day stash using some really vintage ephemera from a book published in 1897. I created the large scallops along the edge of this old sheet of paper using a slit punch. For a ginormous view, just clicky on my photo.

I created some really sloppy primitive stitches using linen twine ... now this is the reason I don't do cross-stitch!

For all the deets, check my Supply List, below.

Soooooo, yesterday Sheila and I got up early to go to the Farmer's Market. On the way, we decided to stop at a diner for a quick breakfast.

Our waitress brought us coffee and asked if we'd like to try their "Unique Breakfast."

"What's your Unique Breakfast?" Sheila asked.

"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.

"Baked tongue of chicken? Baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" Sheila fumed.

"Okay, okay, what would you like then?" the waitress said."

"Just bring me some scrambled eggs," Sheila replied.

It'll grow on you ...

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Papertrey Ink; Stampin' Up
• Stamps: "Stitched" Backgrounder from Stampin' Up; "Heart" by U.B. Stampin
• Ink: "Riding Hood Red" by Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Linen Twine; Vintage Ephemera, Personal Collection
• Tools: Edge Distresser; Making Memories Paper Piercing Tool; Slit Punch by Stampin' Up

I Heart Felt Hearts ... a 15 Minute Project

Hey, there you are! So today is "National Hugging Day" and, as in years past, I plan on huggin' everyone who crosses my path today. Whether they like it or not ...

I'll confess that last year on National Hugging Day I met with some very mixed reviews. Oh. And I got arrested too. But, hey, how was I s'posed to know that the Brink's Security guy was so stinkin' paranoid?!?

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's Valentine's Day card was created in a New-York-Minute using four 1 5/8" square punchies, some DP from Cosmo Cricket's "Hey, Sugar" collection, some die-cut hearts, felt, and vintage buttons. As always, you can clicky on the photo for the ginormous view.

The sentiment, from Close to My Heart, available HERE, was stamped in Rose Red dye ink on SU card stock, then die cut using a Nesties label die.

I added some CTMH brads and finis! Easy-peasy and ready to serve in just 15 Minutes!

Soooooooooo, yesterday Sheila and I popped into our local Publix-Where-Shopping-is-a-Pleasure to pick up a few things.

In the Produce department, Sheila cornered stopped an employee and said, "These vegetables ... they're for my husband. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

The produce guy looked her straight in the eye and said,"No, Ma'am; you'll have to do that yourself."

Seriously! No, r-e-a-l-l-y!!

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Stampin' Up
• Designer Paper: Cosmo Cricket
• Stamp: "Say it in Style" by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Rose Red" Die Ink by Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Vintage Buttons; DMC Embroidery Floss; Brads; Felt; Dimensionals
• Tools: 1 5/8" Square Punch by McGill; Die-Cut Machine; Nestabilities Dies

Be Mine ... Or I'll Drive A Small Tree Thru Your Heart

Now that I have your attention, let me wish you an exceedingly wonderful "National Buttercrunch Day." I don't know about you, but any time my butter crunches I throw it out ... but that's just me.

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's Valentine was created using this swirly tree stamp from Pink Cat Studio. I stamped it twice with "Twilight" dye ink, then cut them out and layered 'em ... but you already knew that didn't you Miss Smarty-Pants?!?

The sentiment is from Close to My Heart's "Say It in Style" stamp set and I really-and-truly love this set of stamps. I've yet to find an occasion where I couldn't use this set ... but I'll betcha you can come up with a few if you try, lol. I have an extra set (don't ask), available for sale in my eBay store ... you can see it HERE.

For the rest of the deets, check out my Supply List, below.

So, Sheila's Sunday School Class had an Open House this past weekend. Terrified that no one would show up, she asked the DH and I to make an appearance. Happily, about a dozen parents showed up so Sheila dismissed us. But not before this:

"What was Jesus' mother's name?" Sheila asked her class of five and six year olds.

"Mary." a cute little girl answered.

"And who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" Sheila continued.

A little boy eagerly answered, "Verge."

Confused, (as usual), Sheila asked, "Where did you get that, Kevin?"

"From you, Miss Sheila. You're always talkin' about Verge 'n' Mary!"

Seriously.

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Blue Bayou, Pink Pirouette by Stampin' Up; Vintage Cream by PTI
• Designer Paper: "Two Scoops" by BasicGrey
• Stamps: Sentiment by Close to My Heart; Tree by Pink Cat Studio
• Ink: "Twilight" Dye Ink by Close to My Heart
• Accessories: Ribbon by Martha Stewart; Heart Stickie-Thingies, Unknown; Jump Ring
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; Nestabilities Square Rectangle Die; Cuttlebug "Charms" Die; Photo Corner Punch by Stampin' Up; Border Punch by Fiskars; Dimensionals

My Eyes, My Eyes!

WoWzA, bright, huh?!? Don't stare at this too long ... I wouldn't want you to go blind or anything. If you want ... just for a second ... you can clicky on the photo for a ginormous view.

Today's card project was inspired by The Cat's Pajama's blog challenge to use the colors teal, pumpkin, and olive. I knew goin' in that I wouldn't finish this project in time to enter the challenge, but I was intrigued by the color combination. So, tell me, when's the last time you saw a Valentine in these colors? Never ... see, I knew you were gonna say that!

I gave the MS Doily Lace border punch a work-out creating these borders ... but what's a Valentine without paper doilies? For all the gory details, check out my Supply List, below.

So, this weekend I discovered that Sheila has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.

She keeps it in the trunk.

Seriously!

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: "Blue Bayou," and "Tangerine Tango" by Stampin' Up
• Designer Paper: "Cogsmo" by Cosmo Cricket
• Stamps: "Hearts & Flowers" by Autumn Leaves, Sentiment by Verve Visual
• Inks: "Twilight" Die Ink by Close to My Heart; "Cocoa" Fluid Chalk Ink by Clearsnap
• Accessories: Brads by Close to My Heart; Grosgrain Ribbon
• Tools: Dimensionals; 1/4" Circle Punch by Stampin' Up; "Doily Lace" Border Punch by Martha Stewart

99 Things You Didn't Want to Know ...

But I'm listin' 'em anyway!

I saw this on Jennifer's blog ... Inking Obsessions ... and thought I'd see how many I could cross of the list.

Feel free to copy and paste and post this craziness on your own blog.

All of the things I've done in my life are in BOLD:

1. Started your own blog - duh
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - In the shower ...
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child - do kittens count?
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - and looked up
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa's blog in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon - around the block. It felt like a marathon ...
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice, FL
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise(ing)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language - does HTML count?
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied ... it's gone now, though
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen (my father) Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been watched an independent movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken an martial arts class
59. Visited Russia - does visitin' Russians count?
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching - not intentionally but there they were ...
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - driven one, too!
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published Read a book ...
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating ... a fish or three hundred
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury - not for lack of tryin'
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - I salted a Great Lake, though ...
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Now you go ...

~cHeERS,

Easily Offended? Quick, Look Away Now!

I warned you ...

I think this stamp is hysterical but I certainly can understand if you feel otherwise. It's all meant in fun and no lab animals were injured or kilt in the creation of this card ... or this post ... so far as I can tell.

My BFF sent me this w-a-y kewl stamp from Paper Source months ago and I've been waiting for the perfect bit of 'something' to use with it. This bit of 'something' is a scrap of designer paper from Close to My Heart's "Notebook" collection. If you're interested, you can see the entire collection HERE.

I mounted the designer paper on an embossed scrap of card stock, added a felt heart cut out with my Large Scallop Heart Nesties, three vintage buttons, linen thread, a round tab punchie, an antique copper frame hanger and brad, and a bit of grosgrain ribbon.

And, finis!

So, last night Sheila and I attended a seminar on "Emotional Extremes." Don't ask ...

"Just to establish some parameters," said the speaker,"can someone tell me what the opposite of joy is?"

"Sadness," someone in the audience shouted out.

"And the opposite of depression?"

"Elation," someone volunteered.

"How about the opposite of woe?" the speaker asked.

Sheila shouted out, "Giddy-up!"

Seriously.

Have a great weekend!

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Stampin' Up
• Designer Paper: Close to My Heart
• Stamp: Paper Source
• Ink: Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Vintage Buttons; Felt; Linen Thread; Grosgrain Ribbon; Frame Hanger; Brad; Dimensionals
• Tools: Round Tab Punch by Stampin' Up; Die Cut Machine; Nestabilities Dies; Cuttlebug Embossing Folder

A No-Stamping, Flap-Fold, Giant Valentine

Hey, there you are, hope you're having a very happy "Hat Day."

Don't tell law-enforcement personnel anyone, but Sheila and I have a way-kewl day planned! We're gonna spend the afternoon drinking Margaritas, snackin' on nachos, smokin' Mexican cigarettes, and doin' the Mexican Hat Dance ... all whilst dressed in traditional Mexican garb. We do this every week "Hat Day," so we're pretty good at the drinking Hat Dance now. I'll tell ya, these are the days to remember ... if possible.

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's super-simple, plain-Jane card project was created based on a BasicGrey tutorial. I simply added some extra layers ... but no brads, buttons, charms, faux gemstones, or ribbons. Nope, not one dang thing to make it even the tiniest bit interesting!

The flap is held in place with two hidden BasicGrey magnetic snaps. Here's a photo of the flap unflapped:


The text and flourishes are rub-ons ... pretty sneaky, huh?!? Oh, and if any one's interested in the destructions, lemme me know and I'll forward 'em on to you. Better ask tomorrow, though ... see above.

So, yesterday I had to go into the Village to do some errands, including some banking.

I gave the teller my deposit and she handed me my change. While I was walking out of the bank, I counted my change ... and quickly headed back to the same cashier.

"Excuse me," I said, "you've given me the wrong change."

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but you'd already stepped away from the counter," said Welcome-to-Bank-of-America-My-Name-is-Lucy-How-Can-I-Help-You. "We don't make corrections after you leave. I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."

"Ummm, well ... okay," I answered, "I just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye now!"

Was that so wrong?!?

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: K&Company
• Accessories: Rub-On's (Manufacturer Unknown); BasicGrey Magnetic Snaps
• Tools: Fiskars Decorative Edge Scissors

In the Pink ... and Riding Hood Red

Okay, so it's "Make Your Dream Come True" Day and "Blame Someone Else" Day. Now, you can pick one to celebrate, OR do both, i.e.: "I could make my dreams come true" if it wasn't for ________ (fill-in-the-blank.)" It's a yin-yang kinda thang ...

Today's Valentines Day card project was created with this very kewl stamp from Stampers Anonymous. I stamped it twice on SU card stock and cut an "x" in one of them ... then doubled 'em up and folded back the flaps on the top image. The "Paisley" backgrounder was stamped on Pink Pirouette card stock using Hybrid ink.

So easy it's practically illegal!

So, yesterday Sheila asked me to go to the hospital with her to visit her co-worker, Jen.

"May I see Jen, please?" she asked the woman blocking the door.

"We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?"

"Why-er-why, yes. I'm her sister," Sheila lied said.

"Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman. "I'm her mother!"

Sheila's cheeks turned as pink as this card ... in fact, those bright pink cheeks were the inspiration for this card! Kewl, huh?!?

Seriously.

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Stampin' Up
• Stamps: Stampers Anonymous; Stampin' Up
• Ink: Palette Hybrid
• Accessories: SU Ribbon Slide; SU Grosgrain Ribbon
• Tools: SU Spiral Punch; Corner Rounder; Craft Knife; Die-Cut Machine; Cuttlebug Embossing Folder

It's My "Feast of Fabulous Wild Men" Card!

Hey, guess what? Today is "Feast of Fabulous Wild Men" day! You go find a couple of fabulous wild men and I'll start the bonfire ...

Today's card project was created for one of the fabulous tame men on my V-Day card list. Fairly tame ... at least he's stopped biting!

Hey, does this ever happen to you? You make a card, take a photograph of it, and after you see the photo you notice all of its problems? I'm sittin' here thinkin' that I should have run that red card stock through the 'Bug in an embossing folder. Oh well, next time ...

So, I was once again roped into attending Sheila's weight-loss class with her. I keep tellin' her that if she stops bringin' me, she'll automatically lose 130 pounds but she doesn't get that. She tells me I can stop going with her as soon as the leader asks for my enrollment fee, though.

Anyway, everyone had weighed in, and the class leader began her lecture on the week's topic - the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings, and having meat broiled instead of fried.

Finally she turned the question over to the group for discussion. "What is the greatest problem you encounter when going out to eat?"

Sheila promptly replied, "Running into you!"

Seriously!

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Stampin' Up
• Stamps: "Love" by Club Scrap; "Paisley" Backgrounder by Stampin' Up
• Ink: Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Grosgrain Ribbon; Antique Copper Photo Turns; Brads
• Tools: "Doily Lace" Border Punch; Dimensionals

The Return of the 15 Minute Project ...

Hey, there you are! And just in time: today is "Play God Day!" I don't know about you, but I've been wanting to play God for-evuh; I have such plans! The hard part is deciding where to begin ...

ONward Hoarding Card Makers:

Today's super simple Valentine's Day card was created with a kewl mailbox stamp from Azadi Earles and my heart-shaped Nesties. I paper-pieced the stamped image, cut out a bunch of l'il hearts, stamped my sentiment on the 'grass,' tied a bunny-ears bow, and added a cute l'il heart charm with a jump ring.

Using a craft knife, I cut a slit along the interior edge of the mailbox and slid most of the l'il hearts inside.

I stamped a background with watermark ink but since you can barely see it in my photo, I won't even bother to mention it.

Easy-peasy and ready to serve in just 15 minutes!

Sooooo, last night I was over Sheila's 'helping' her sew, (talk about the blind leading the blind!), when her doorbell rang.

Off she goes to answer the door and within seconds she was back.

"Okay, that was no one," Sheila said.

"Umm, no one?" I asked.

"Well, someone but ... "

"Okay, I'll bite ... who?"

"Just my mother-in-law," Sheila sighed.

"Uhh, oh, is everything okay?"

"Oh sure," she responded, "she just wanted to know if she could stay here for a few days."

"And?" I asked.

"And I told her ... of course, you can stay out there, and I shut the door."

Seriously.

And don't forget to snag the free desktop calendar I made just for you. Scroll on down to the next post and there it is!

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Stampin' Up
• Designer Paper: K&Company
• Stamps: Azadi Earles; Rubber Soul
• Ink: "Timber Brown" Staz-On
• Accessories: 1/4" Grosgrain Ribbon; Heart Locket Charm; Jump Ring
• Tools: Die Cut Machine; Nestabilities; Craft Knife; V-e-r-y Sharp Scissors

A L'il Gift For You ...

L'il being the operative word!

So, it's a calendar for you to use on your computer desktop OR you can print it out and tape it to your wall! It looks a lot l'il distorted in this ^ view, but if you click on it, it looks fine ... but remember, I don't know what I'm doing.

The lovely "Miss Mary" used to make these for me and did so for many years. This year, she's moving on to other things and I decided to make my own. Well, once I did that, I naturally thought of YOU! So, I'm sharing it with you ... and your friends too. That's if you/they want it; otherwise, just skip on down to the Sheila story.

Here's how to snag it: click on the image, and then when the new window opens, right-click on the image and choose "save" to your computer. Once it's on your hard drive, find the image then right click on it and chose, "set as desktop background." Ta-dah!

If you have any problems getting this to fit your screen, umm ... well, I'll try to help you but no guarantees. This fits on my computer screen perfectly as is, but if it gets all wonky on yours, I'll prolly have to email you the file.

Now, if someone (cough: Anna), could tell me how to make a .pdf file, I think that would work the best. Hopefully, someone (cough: Anna), will come forward and offer to help me create a .pdf file for February's calendar. Even though I know not everyone (cough: Anna), likes vintage-inspired ...

Yuppers, I'll make another one for you in February! We'll just consider it my personal Valentine to you. And let's face it, the odds of getting me to actually MAIL you a Valentine's Day card is somewhere between slim and none ... and, umm, closer to none, KWIM? I'm card-mailing-challenged ... just like you*.

Here's your Sheila fix for January 6, 2009:

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but poor Sheila has been having trouble getting her neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. Yup, it's like farm country out here. Wait. Right. It IS farm country out here!

The neighbor kept telling her that the chickens had the right to go anywhere they dang well pleased. Unfortunately, the born-free birds were ruining Sheila's flowerbeds.

So yesterday afternoon, I was hangin' around at Sheila's and noticed that there didn't seem to be any chickens in her flowerbeds. In fact, for the first time in months, the flowers were even beginning to bloom!

"Hey, crazy lady, how did you get your neighbor to keep his destructive wayward chickens in his own yard?"

"Easy," Sheila laughed, "One night I hid a dozen eggs under a bush by my flowerbeds, and the next day I let the old crab** see me gather them. I haven't seen a chicken since."

Okay, not the funniest of Sheila-isms, but even Sheila has a few non-hystericalomigawdfunny days.

~Hugs,

*this statement does NOT apply to Allison, Curt, Diane, or Risa.

**In the interest of full-disclosure I must mention that Sheila used a ... different word.

Be a Clown, Be a Clown, Be a Clown ...

Why not, somebody's gotta do it!

Today, I thought I'd share with you the "Circus" paper bag album I've recently listed for sale on eBay. Otherwise, I'll have to wax poetic about it being "Bird Day," and frankly, I'm fresh outta inspired bird thoughts.

This ^ is the cover. And on that cover is a v-e-r-y old "House of Fun" mirror. And it really works, too! This great old bit of ephemera was a Dairy Queen give-away w-a-y back in the Swingin' Sixties.


Here's a closer look at all the doodads I've got hangin' off the hinge ring. Now that is a very kewl monkey charm even if I do say so myself!

This ^ spread is pages two and three ...
this ^ spread is pages four and five. Hey! Check out those old "Mixies" cards!

This ^ spread is pages six and seven, and
this ^ spread is pages eight and nine.

Finally, this ^ spread is pages ten and eleven.

If you'd like to see the rest of the photos and all the particulars, click HERE to see the album listing on eBay.

So Sheila joined a popular weight-loss organization and begged asked me to attend the first meeting with her. She's shy ...

Anyway, at the first meeting, the instructor held up an apple and a candy bar.

"What are the attributes of this apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our diet?"

Sheila sat quietly while others in the room volunteered, "low in calories" and "lots of fiber."

The instructor then detailed what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, "Apples are not only more healthful but also less expensive. Do you know I paid a dollar for this candy bar?"

We all stared as she held aloft the forbidden treat. Finally, Sheila spoke up: "I'll give you a dollar and a half for it."

Seriously.

~Hugs!

Green Card Makin' ...

Hey, there you are! Well, first off, let me wish you a very happy "Run It Up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes It" day!

That's prolly what that guy was celebrating when I accidentally, inadvertently cut him off in traffic. 'Cuz he stuck up his finger and it looked JUST like a l'il flagpole! Pretty kewl, huh?!? Guess it's one of the more popular holidays ...

ONward Hoarding Card Makers:

This card ^ is a recent green/recycling project ... one that won't significantly impact the planet but what the heck, it's a start, right? And just think, if every card maker in Blogdom created one card a week from a recycled magazine image, why we could save say, ... 4 sheets of glossy paper a month! That's a half of one tree a year!! Now we're talkin'! Spread the word ...

Before I toss my magazines in the recycle bin, I go through them looking for ... stuff, including neat images. I found this particular image in a back issue of "Country Homes" magazine and decided it would look loverly on a card front. Even though I now have proof to the contrary ...

Soooo, last weekend the DH and I had tickets for the pre-tournament cocktail party hosted for a celebrity golf tournament. Since we had an extra set, we invited Sheila and her DH to come along.

Several of the famous athletes who were playing in the tournament were at the door greeting guests. Among them was Joe Montana, the pro football Hall of Fame quarterback and Super Bowl winner.

Shaking Sheila's hand, he said, "Hi there, Joe Montana!" She didn't know Joe Montana from Joe Schmo, so in all sincerity she extended her hand and said, "Hello, Sheila Florida."

We're all still giggling about this; just not in front of you-know-who ...

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Bazzill; Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: Making Memories
• Stamp: Papertrey Ink
• Ink: Staz-On
• Accessories: Satin Ribbon; Faux Gemstone Flowers
• Tools: Ticket Corner Punch; Decorative Edge Scissors; Flower Punch; Cuttlebug Die-Cutting Machine; Nestabilities Die; Foam Dimensionals