Earth Laughs in Flowers?

Hello, my wonderful stampin' friends! I've missed all of you bunches ... and the rest of the Internet ... and email service and stuff.

Due to worthless Comcast circumstances beyond my control, I haven't been able to post to my blog OR respond to comments and emails. I apologize in arrears ... I can double-back on the post comments, but if you've emailed me, oops! Please resend.

I promise to get around to all of your blogs as soon as possible to see all the beauteousness y'all been creating while I was incommunicado.

Today's belated card project was created for SCS's "Sketch Challenge," SC231 ... right in time for this week's sketch! For all the challenging deets, including a look at the sketch I followed, clicky HERE. To go straight to the SC231 card photo gallery, clicky HERE. To see the ginormous view of my card, just clicky there on my photo.

So, one of the kewl things I wanted to mention to all of you is that Janlynn, the makers of Stamps Happen craft stamps, is having a HUGE sale!! And I do mean huge! The prices, 80% off!, are phenomenal and the items on sale are all paper-crafting-must-haves. You need to race over there right. now. and check out all the sale-priced goodies. Sale ends on June 14, 2009. Clicky HERE to check it out.

I'm gonna hustle over there myself and fill up a cart ... provided I don't lose the Internet between now and then ...

And now, your Sheila-fix for June 10th:

So, this past Sunday while I was hangin' out with Sheila enjoying her donuts company, her DH, Ken, was sitting opposite us, reading the paper.

He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a celebrity ... who was known primarily for his lack of smarts and common sense.

"I'll never understand why the biggest idiots get the most attractive wives." Ken said.

"Why, thank you, dear!" Sheila responded.

And that's when I left. But I'll be back tomorrow ... the mediocre-Comcast willin'!

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: "Stampers Select" White by Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: "Bali Breeze" Collection (Retired) by Stampin' Up!
• Stamps: Sentiment from "Make My Day" Set by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Cote d'Azure" Hybrid Ink by Stewart Superior
• Accessories: Pearl Rhinestones by Michaels
• Tools: Die Cut Machine; Nestabilities Dies by Spellbinders; Shapeabilities Die by Spellbinders; Pine Bough Punch by McGill; Tag Maker by Making Memories
• Finished Size: 4 1/4" x 5 1/2"
  

You Make My Heart Flutter. Do I Need a Doctor?

Happy Tuesday, stampers! I was enjoying my weekend so much, I decided to let it last a little longer.

Today's card was created for SCS's Limited Supplies challenge, LSC222, "Plenty of Patterns." This weeks challenge limited players to:

• ½ sheet of plain card stock for the card base—no other plain papers;
• Plenty of patterned paper;
• NO coloring supplies ... no Copics, pencils, markers, crayons, nada; and,
• Keep the embellishments simple.
  

For all the challenging deets, clicky HERE. To go straight to the LSC222 card photo gallery, clicky HERE. To see the ginormous view of my card, clicky right there on the photo.

I stamped my butterfly ... a birthday gift from my dear friend, Annapurna, on patterned paper from MME, cut it out, and popped it up on dimensionals. I stamped my sentiment, from the same stamp set, on another paper from MME's "Bloom" collection, tied on a twill ribbon, added some Kaiser Craft pearls, and finis! Easy-peasy and ready to serve in, say ... 25 minutes!

Soooooooo, this past weekend, Sheila and I took Reid-the-Wild-Child out for ice cream. As we were sitting at the ice-cream bar, we watched a sweet older man shuffle in. He v-e-r-y slowly, and obviously painfully, pulled himself up onto a stool.

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

The Wild Child is still asking what was so funny!

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Bazzill Basics
• Designer Paper: "Bloom" Collection from "Bloom & Grow" by My Mind's Eye
• Stamps: "Butterfly Wings" Set by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Tuxedo Black" Memento Dye Ink by Tsukineko
• Accessories: Twill Ribbon by Provo Craft; Pearls by Kaiser Craft
• Tools: Scissors by Cutter Bee; Foam Tape; Scotch ATG 714 Adhesive
• Finished Size: 5 1/2" x 4 1/4"
  

All the Good Card Shapes Were Taken ...

by the talented Caardvarks Design Team!

Today's card project was created for the Caardvarks "Shape Up" challenge. For all the challenge deets, clicky HERE. And while you're there, take a look at the DT's cards ... wowza, not only is the talented team huge, it's hugely talented! By reason of sheer numbers, all the good card shapes were taken ... like that taco-card ... so I decided to make a boring shirt-card {*yawn*} for my dear FIL.

The card is pretty simple ... and pretty simple to put together, too. I created my shirt using less than one sheet of DP from Cosmo Cricket's "Get Happy" collection and stamps from Close to My Heart and Hampton Art.

After I cut out my shirt-card, I added some vintage buttons from my half-vast button stash.

TIP: Using a guillotine cutter, slice super-skinny strips of your DP to create "thread" for your buttons. It creates less bulk than real thread or floss and always matches your project!

For all the exciting shape-shifting product info, check out the supply list, below.

So, this past Sunday, Sheila was working with her Sunday School kids preparing them for their First Communion. Father John assisted her, instructing the kids to cup their hands to receive the Host when he said the words, "God be with you."

After Church, Reid-the-Wild-Child called me and pleaded with me to come over to watch him practice for the big day.

I think his exact words were, "'Auntie, you HAVE to get over here RIGHT. NOW. 'cuz I'm your favorite-est godson and you love me," or maybe it was, "get over here RIGHT. NOW. before Mommy eats all the Sunday donuts!" Either way, I had to go ...

When I got there, I found Sheila in her kitchen using a tiny cookie cutter to create the "Host" out of white bread.

"You've lost it." I observed.

"Whatever," she sighed, "I'm not in charge here anymore."

"Okay, Mom," Reid demanded the second she finished making the bread thingies, "first, I'll be the priest and you be the kid!"

Reid carefully explained to Sheila that she had to kneel, bow her head, think of Baby Jesus, and then cup her hands to receive the Host.

Never one to skimp on details, Reid put on his Batman cape ... while Sheila got down on her knees.

Then, holding the bread-Host-thingie in a most priestly way, he said in a solemn voice, "God will get you."

Omigosh, my sides still hurt!

~Hugs,

• Designer Paper: Snappy/Twist & Shout Sheet from Como Cricket's "Get Happy" Collection
• Card Stock: "Stamper's Select" White by Papertrey Ink
• Stamps: "Love," and "thinking of you" by Close to My Heart; "DAD" from Hampton Art's Mini-Alphabet Set
• Ink: "Cranberry" Dye Ink by Close to My Heart
• Marker: "Cranberry" by Close to My Heart
• Accessories: Vintage Buttons
• Tools: Tag Corner Punch by Stampin' Up; Glue Dots by Mini-Glue Dots; Scotch ATG 714 Adhesive
• Finished Size: 5 1/2" x 6 1/2"
  

You Make Me Happy ... Most Days

Happy Thursday, race fans!

Today's super-simple card was created with Designer Paper and chipboard flowers. My collection of chipboard appears to be procreating because every time I open my chippy-stash, there's more of 'em! I decided it was time to disrupt the breeding, hence today's project. Fascinating, huh?

I covered my chippy flowers, and created stems, with patterned paper from the one, the only, Cosmo Cricket! This particular paper comes from the "Hello Sunshine" collection.

I stamped my sentiment, from Close to My Heart, available HERE, and mounted it in a label holder from Stampin' Up's "Hodgepodge Hardware" collection. I die-cut some flowers from card stock, threaded some buttons with DMC embroidery floss, created a border with a Martha Stewart punch, and finis! So quick and easy, it's practically illegal!

So, Sheila's mother-in-law has a birthday coming up. Last night, I asked her what they were planning on getting for her.

"Nothing!" Sheila answered.

"Well, that's cold," I responded.

"No, it isn't ... not really. Last year, we bought her a v-e-r-y expensive cemetery plot and since she still hasn't used it, I'm not getting her anything this year."

I. Kid. You. Not!

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: "Hello Sunshine" Collection by Cosmo Cricket
• Stamp: "Make My Day" Set by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Real Red" Dye Ink by Stampin' Up!
• Accessories: Metal Label Holder and Brads from "Styled Silver" Hodgepodge Hardware Collection by Stampin' Up; Buttons by Making Memories; Embroidery Floss by DMC
  
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine by Provo Craft; "Flowers" Die by Provo Craft; "Flourish Accents" Die by Spellbinder's; Zig Zag Border Punch by Martha Stewart; Glue Dots by Mini-Glue Dots; Scotch ATG 714 Adhesive; Foam Dimension Tape

Way to Go L'il Fishies!

Happy Tuesday! Oh. And happy "Tell a Story" day too. Now for sure I'll have to tell you a story today! Betcha can't wait ...

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's strange offering was created using the cutest l'il 2 x 2 Cuttlebug die in the world. It was love-at-first-sight when I found this adorable die ... on sale for $2.55!

I cut out the "fish bowl" using a Large Classic Oval die, created "waves" with Fiskars decorative-edged scissors, then sealed up some of the sweet l'il poissons with super-sturdy, crystal-clear card stock from Flourishes. The other l'il poissons are adhered to the front of the back-side of the inside of the card ... got that?

I stamped a sentiment, added some "air bubbles," tied on some grosgrain ribbon, and finis! Easy-peasy and ready to serve in just 15 Minutes! For the rest of the breath-taking product info, check out the Supply List, below.

So, yesterday Sheila and I decided to hit the West Palm Beach beach. There's lots and lots of great beaches we like to go to, but when we think we look hot, we go to West Palm Beach's beach. Which is smack-dab in the heart of downtown West Palm Beach ... crazy place for a beach, huh?!? Floridians; they're all crazy! Anyway yesterday, Sheila decreed that we looked "hot."

So, what with the beach being right in the middle of downtown West Palm Beach, we have to feed a meter. As luck would have it ... it being our "hot" day and all ... we scored a primo parking spot. After we parked and unloaded all of our beach-crap, we realized that the parking meter had a paper sack tied on it. And written on the paper sack, were the words,"Broken" Omigosh, does it get any better than this?!? Lookin' hot, primo parking spot, AND a broken parking meter?!? WoWzA!

So after we broiled for a couple of hours, we gathered up all our stuff and headed back to the car ... at the exact minute the meter maid arrived. Lovely Rita, Meter Maid, removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. Ooops, it worked!

Lovely Rita was visibly pleased ... and she smiled cheerfully at us as she handed Sheila the parking ticket.

"You've got to be kidding me! You're giving me a ticket?" Sheila demanded. "Why???? There's plenty of time left!"

Nice try, but no l'il fishies ...

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Clear Card Stock by Flourishes; Papertrey Ink; Stampin' Up!
• Stamp: Sentiment from "Say it in Style" Set by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Pacific Point" Dye Ink by Stampin' Up!
• Accessories: Grosgrain Ribbon
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine by Provo Craft; "Fish" 2 x 2 Die by Provo Craft; Large Classic Oval Die by Spellbinder's; "Wave" Decorative Edge Scissors by Fiskars; Scotch ATG 714 Adhesive
  

A Color Combination Not Worth Repeating:

Happy Monday ... and happy "I'm in Control" Day! Right. Hey, isn't that a brand of adult diapers? Well, maybe not ... but it should be!

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's card was created for SCS's weekly color combination challenge. This week's challenge, CC211, calls for Pretty in Pink, Baja Breeze, and Kiwi Kiss. While I really love these colors individually, I'm really not lovin' 'em together. And I prolly won't be pairing 'em up again anytime soon. Like never. Ever. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but they look kinda ... ummm ... terrible ... together. Guess that's why they call it a "challenge," huh?!?

For all the challenge-like deets, clicky HERE. To go straight to the challenge gallery, clicky HERE. For the ginormous view of my card, clicky on the photo.

The kooky layout is mine ... and I did a l'il bit of paper piecing on the flowers. {Yawn}. For all the colorful ingredients, check out the supply list, below.

So, this weekend I had the bad luck pleasure of taking care of Sheila's son, Reid-the-Wild-Child, for a few hours. I'm still recoverin' ...

"So, Reid," I said. "Has Mommy taught you all your numbers?"

"Yup!"

"Good for you! So tell me, what comes after three?" I asked.

"Four," Reid answered.

"What comes after six?"

"Seven!"

"That's fantastic, Reid! Mommy did a really good job teaching you your numbers," I said enthusiastically.

"So, what comes after ten?" I asked.

"A jack!"

I. Kid. You. Not!

And, if you don't mind, I must say, "Yay! men AND women UCONN hoopsters! Big East Rulzzz!" Thanks for lettin' me get that outta my system ...

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Stampin' Up
• Designer Paper: Close to My Heart
• Stamp: "Pattern Flowers" by Hero Arts; Sentiment by Close to My Heart
  
• Ink: "Kiwi Kiss" Dye Ink by Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Rhinestones by Me & My Big Ideas
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; Large Classic Rectangle Dies by Spellbinder's; Prismacolor Premier Colored Pencil; Gamsol OMS; Foam Dimensionals; Scotch ATG 714
  

What's the Story, Morning Glory?

Happy Hump day everyone! Oh, and a very happy "National Pecan" day and "National Waffle" day. I don't understand why can't they just settle on one; they must have run outta days ...

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's card project was created with an acetate transparency I created. If you're interested in taking a look at the entire sheet, clicky HERE. If you purchase any of these transparencies, let me know that you saw it on my blog, and I'll throw in some fun freebies, okeedokee?!?

I ran my transparencies through the Xyron machine then adhered it on top of a page from a vintage (1950), dictionary.

I mounted that on "Blue Bayou" card stock, created a black mat with a vertical orientation, and adhered it to my "Kiwi Kiss" card base. I trimmed 1/2" off the right hand side of the card and attached a scalloped edge punchie.

I stamped my sentiment and finis! So quick to create, it qualifies for the coveted title of "15 Minute Project!"

So Sheila's son, Reid-the-Wild Child, came home yesterday with a big ole' shiner.

"Well, Reid," Sheila said, "I'm terribly ashamed of you! Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!"

"But he threw a rock at me first! Soooooo, I threw one at him."

Sheila glared at him and said, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come straight to me."

"What good would that have done?" Reid moaned. "My aim is much better than yours."

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: "Blue Bayou" and "Kiwi Kiss" by Stampin' Up
• Other Paper: Vintage (1950) Dictionary Pages, Personal Collection
• Stamp: Sentiment from "Say it in Style" Set by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Black Soot" Distress Ink by Ranger
• Tools: Ticket Corner Punch by Stampin' Up; Simple Scallops Border Punch by Martha Stewart Crafts; Xyron Adhesive Machine; Dimensionals; Scotch ATG 714
  

May You Have Enough ... Stamps!

Okay, so the stamp doesn't really read this ... but it should!

The stamp, by Close to My Heart, doesn't credit the author of this sentiment, but I really do prefer it this ^ way.

Now here's the real text:

I don't think you need me to tell you how I created this card. But if you're interested, you can check out the supply list, below.

So, yesterday Sheila got this idea that she HAD to go shopping in Boca Raton. We took I-95 southbound and weren't driving for 10 minutes when we had a flat tire. Scary stuff. Sheila eased the car over to the shoulder, go out, and opened the trunk.

Okay, this next part seems unbelievable but ... she took 2 cardboard men out of her trunk, unfolded them, and stood them at the rear of the car facing oncoming traffic. They looked soooo life-like except that ... they were dressed in trench coats exposing their nude cardboard bodies to oncoming drivers.

To my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at the life-like men. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is beeping their horns and waving like crazy. We were laffin' hysterically the whole time until ...

A Florida Highway Patrolman pulls up behind the car. He got out and started walking toward us. And ummm, you could tell right away that he wasn't thinking this was funny.

"What's going on here?" he barked.

"My car has a flat tire." Sheila answered.

"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?" he asked.

Sheila responded, "Hellooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: "Tangerine Tango" by Stampin' Up; "Vintage Cream" by Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: Stampin' Up
• Stamp: "Treasure Life" Set by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Spiced Marmalade" Distress Ink by Tim Holtz for Ranger Industries
• Accessories: Grosgrain Ribbon, Antique Copper Photo Turns, Brads, and Frame Hangers by Stampin' Up
• Tools: Edge Distresser; 1/16" Circle Punch by McGill; Scotch ATG 714

Rose Red + Kiwi Kiss + More Mustard =

This.

Happy Thursday all and one, and may I be the first to wish you a happy "National Chocolate Mint Day?" NOW we're talkin'! 'Cuz any day with 'chocolate' in it is a happy day in my book! And I know y'all feel the same way ...

Today's card project was created for SCS's "Color Combination" challenge. For all the colorful deets, clicky HERE. As always, clicky on the photo for the ginormous view.

I created my flower ... and I use the term "flower" loosely ... by punching 1 1/4" circles out of old dictionary pages, added a center, lotsa l'il punchie-thingies, and card stock leaves.

The sentiment is from Stampin' Up's "Cute and Curly" set. For the rest of the blah, blah, blah, check the supply list, below.

This is true:

Sheila's DH hired a painter to paint their house. Yup, you paint your house in the winter down here ... it's a heat/humidity thang. Anyway, Ken was really happy with the job the painter had done.

"You did a great job," he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie."

The painter thanked him and agreed to do just that. Later that very same night, the doorbell rang and lo and behold, it was the painter.

"Hey, buddy, what's the matter, did you forget something?" Ken asked.

"Nope," replied the painter. "I'm a man of my word. I'm here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie just like you asked."

Seriously; I was there!! And Sheila really wanted to go but ...

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: "Kiwi Kiss" and "Rose Red" by Stampin' Up; "Mustard," Unknown
• Other Paper: Vintage (1942) Dictionary Pages, Personal Collection
• Stamps: "Spot On Backgrounds" Set by Close to My Heart; "Cute and Curly" Set by Stampin' Up!
• Ink: "Rose Red" Dye Ink by Stampin' Up; Versamark Watermark Ink
• Accessories: Crystal Pearls
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; "Curly Label" Punch by Stampin' Up; "Labels 2 Dies by Spellbinder's; 1 1/4" Circle Punch by EK Success; 1" Circle Punch by Martha Stewart; Small Flower Punch by EK Success; 1/4" Circle Punch by Stampin' Up; 5/16" Circle Punch by Provo Craft; Stylus by Fiskars; Dimensionals

You're in My Heart ... But Not the Budget

Hey, there you are! So happy Friday, and happy "Get a Different Name Day!" I haven't decided yet what I'll change my name to ... I suffer from option paralysis. But I'm definitely leanin' toward "Broke" ... err, I mean "Brooke."

Today's final-Valentine-of-2009 was created for the Caardvarks "We Heart You" card challenge. For all the challenge deets, clicky HERE. And you can clicky on the photo for the ginormous view.

To create this card, I used SU "Pink Pirouette" card stock, a Grunge Board heart, some vintage (1897) ephemera, a Prima flower, a 'ghost' bracket from CTMH, and a few other goodies.

I stamped my sentiment, from Close to My Heart, available HERE, on CTMH patterned paper (available HERE), with SU "Chocolate Chip" dye ink.

For the rest of the blah, blah, blah, check my supply list, below.

Soooooooo, Sheila's birthday is coming up and all she can talk about is getting diamond earrings.

"Why?" I asked, "don't you think that's a pretty frivolous gift? I mean, people are having a hard time paying their bills and putting food on their tables ... if you ask me, I think it's a ridiculous idea."

"Oh, it's frivolous all right, prolly ridiculous too, but it's all I want. The DH doesn't even have to wrap the package ... or take me out to dinner ... just give me diamond earrings and I'll be happy."

So, later, the DH walks in and Sheila 'reminds' him her birthday is coming up.

"Oh. Okay. What do you want?" he asked.

"Diamond earrings! You don't even have to wrap the package or take me out to dinner ... I just want diamond earrings." Sheila answered.

"Really?" her DH responded, "'Cuz I think diamonds look tacky on younger women."

"Ohhhhhh." Sheila said, "I'll make reservations for dinner then."

Does he have her number or what?

Have a great weekend, my imaginary friend!

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: "Pink Pirouette" by Stampin' Up
• Designer Paper: "More to Adore" Collection by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Chocolate Chip" Dye Ink by Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Tim Holtz Grunge Board Heart; Ghost Bracket by Close to My Heart; Prima Flower; Vintage Ephemera, Personal Collection; Pink Brad; Metal-Edge Shipping Tag; Metal Flower, Unknown; Natural Lace Trim
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine by Provo Craft; "Distressed Stripes" Cuttlebug Embossing Folder; Daisy Punch by Marvy Uchida; "Threading Water" Border Punch by Fiskars; Fluid Acrylic Paint by Golden

Keep Your Shirt On ...

Geez, I remember when that was just about my most favorite thing to say ... 'course I was like 12.

Soooo, check out the l'il tropical-ish 'shirt' I made ... how cute is that?!? I stamped it with teeny palm trees using dye ink and added some itty-bitty buttons. Lemme just say right now how hard it was to tie floss through those itsy-bitsy buttons. Doing that prolly took longer than makin' the whole card! What we won't do for our art ...

The sentiment is from Close to My Heart but has since been retired. Why do they retire all the kewl stamps, Mommy?

I stamped some kinda weird pattern on card stock then punched it with a spiral punch. I tied raffia around the card stock and through the punched holes and added three l'il tropical-ish beads to one strand. Easy-peasy ... 'cept for threadin' those eeny-weenie buttons.

So, I've done some research in an effort to learn a bit more about the "Economic Stimulus Payment" program. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format. 'Cuz you're pretty and nice:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Bazzill Basics; Cut Card Stock; Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: Artic Frog
• Stamps: Some Kinda Weird Pattern and Weenie Palm Trees by Simply Chic; Sentiment by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "New England Ivy" Dye Ink by Close to My Heart; "Chocolate Chip" Dye Ink by Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Natural Raffia; Seashells and Fish Beads, Unknown; Itsy-Bitsy Buttons by Unknown Button-Maker
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; Nestabilities Long Rectangular Dies; Spiral Punch by Stampin' Up;

I Heart Felt Hearts ... a 15 Minute Project

Hey, there you are! So today is "National Hugging Day" and, as in years past, I plan on huggin' everyone who crosses my path today. Whether they like it or not ...

I'll confess that last year on National Hugging Day I met with some very mixed reviews. Oh. And I got arrested too. But, hey, how was I s'posed to know that the Brink's Security guy was so stinkin' paranoid?!?

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's Valentine's Day card was created in a New-York-Minute using four 1 5/8" square punchies, some DP from Cosmo Cricket's "Hey, Sugar" collection, some die-cut hearts, felt, and vintage buttons. As always, you can clicky on the photo for the ginormous view.

The sentiment, from Close to My Heart, available HERE, was stamped in Rose Red dye ink on SU card stock, then die cut using a Nesties label die.

I added some CTMH brads and finis! Easy-peasy and ready to serve in just 15 Minutes!

Soooooooooo, yesterday Sheila and I popped into our local Publix-Where-Shopping-is-a-Pleasure to pick up a few things.

In the Produce department, Sheila cornered stopped an employee and said, "These vegetables ... they're for my husband. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

The produce guy looked her straight in the eye and said,"No, Ma'am; you'll have to do that yourself."

Seriously! No, r-e-a-l-l-y!!

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Stampin' Up
• Designer Paper: Cosmo Cricket
• Stamp: "Say it in Style" by Close to My Heart
• Ink: "Rose Red" Die Ink by Stampin' Up
• Accessories: Vintage Buttons; DMC Embroidery Floss; Brads; Felt; Dimensionals
• Tools: 1 5/8" Square Punch by McGill; Die-Cut Machine; Nestabilities Dies

Be Mine ... Or I'll Drive A Small Tree Thru Your Heart

Now that I have your attention, let me wish you an exceedingly wonderful "National Buttercrunch Day." I don't know about you, but any time my butter crunches I throw it out ... but that's just me.

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's Valentine was created using this swirly tree stamp from Pink Cat Studio. I stamped it twice with "Twilight" dye ink, then cut them out and layered 'em ... but you already knew that didn't you Miss Smarty-Pants?!?

The sentiment is from Close to My Heart's "Say It in Style" stamp set and I really-and-truly love this set of stamps. I've yet to find an occasion where I couldn't use this set ... but I'll betcha you can come up with a few if you try, lol. I have an extra set (don't ask), available for sale in my eBay store ... you can see it HERE.

For the rest of the deets, check out my Supply List, below.

So, Sheila's Sunday School Class had an Open House this past weekend. Terrified that no one would show up, she asked the DH and I to make an appearance. Happily, about a dozen parents showed up so Sheila dismissed us. But not before this:

"What was Jesus' mother's name?" Sheila asked her class of five and six year olds.

"Mary." a cute little girl answered.

"And who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" Sheila continued.

A little boy eagerly answered, "Verge."

Confused, (as usual), Sheila asked, "Where did you get that, Kevin?"

"From you, Miss Sheila. You're always talkin' about Verge 'n' Mary!"

Seriously.

~cHeERS,

• Card Stock: Blue Bayou, Pink Pirouette by Stampin' Up; Vintage Cream by PTI
• Designer Paper: "Two Scoops" by BasicGrey
• Stamps: Sentiment by Close to My Heart; Tree by Pink Cat Studio
• Ink: "Twilight" Dye Ink by Close to My Heart
• Accessories: Ribbon by Martha Stewart; Heart Stickie-Thingies, Unknown; Jump Ring
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; Nestabilities Square Rectangle Die; Cuttlebug "Charms" Die; Photo Corner Punch by Stampin' Up; Border Punch by Fiskars; Dimensionals

I Live for Irony ...

That's why I'm posting to explain why I'm not posting!

Hey, happy hello's! I hope your holidays were wonderful: filled with laughter, blessed with family, and touched by love. Oh. And presents ... lots of presents. And cookies! Trays and trays of yummy cookies.

I especially wanted to thank all of you who've emailed, written, telephoned, or stalked me to ask after me ... you guys are amazing! I so appreciate all of you ... and the wonderful friendships I've found with you.

And yes, I'm totally fine (objection, speculation!), just super-busy ... and seeking gainful employment. See? I'm practising my legal ^ already! Hopefully I, or the DH, will find any the right position soon. And as much as I enjoy blogging, it had begun to feel like a chore ... a chore that was burning up way too much daylight.

In the meantime, I'm still creating "stuff" for sale on eBay. And you'll be happy to know that I made 60 (yay, me!), Christmas cards and sent out exactly ... none. But, on the bright side, I'm WAY ahead for next year!

And lookie-loo! I made an ugly a super-simple card for you! But don't blame the stamps, 'cuz they're perfect ... and I heart them big lots. Hey, Big Lots ... shopping! Where was I? Oh, I remember: I shopped for them HERE. You can shop for them there, too!

And I must say that Blogger photo upload appears to have changed while I've been absent ... I can't get my dang photos to be anything but huge! So sorry if this ^ image is too distorted, too large, or too small. Blame Blogger ... I'm gonna.

LOL, and now, for all of you Sheila-Fans ... I've been savin' this one for you:

I went to the Post Office with Sheila to buy stamps for her Christmas cards ... which cards, I might add, she actually managed to mail.

"So, what denomination?" asked the Postal clerk.

"Good grief! Umm, well, ... give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic,” she responded.

Seriously!

Hey, thanks for hangin' with me; I'll be back again before you know it!

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: "Kiwi Kiss" and "Pacific Point" by Stampin' Up!
• Stamps: "Rustic Flowers" by Close to My Heart
• Ink: Versamark Watermark
• Accessories: Detail Embossing Powder; Grosgrain Ribbon; Vintage Button
• Tools: Heat Gun; Foam Dimensionals; Stampin' Up Photo Corner Punch

Vote for Me an' I'll Set Ya Free!

Not really ... I'm jess feelin' the Election Day vibe. Don't even tell me you didn't vote today ...

So, yuppers, it's me ... I'm back ... for today, anyway ... with another paper bag album to show y'all. This is what I do with myself these days:

This ^ is the cover ... duh:


This ^ spread is pages two and three;


This ^ spread is pages four and five;


This ^ spread is pages six and seven:


This ^ spread is pages eight and nine; and,


This ^ spread is pages ten and eleven.

This album is currently up for bid on eBay. There's also more (larger and not-so-distorted), photos on my listing ... if you'd care to check it out, you can clicky HERE ... and a new window will open ... not an old window; a new window.

Since I decided to actually make some money rather than just spend it, I've been horrible about card making ... and bloggin'. I have every intention of returning to full-time blogging and card making when I begin to enjoy the effects of my micro-economic recovery plan, or "M-ERP" for short. Provided that actually happens ...

But I want you to know I miss ALL of you horribly ... and I miss spending hours and hours visiting your blogs and seeing all of your amazin' paper creations. Let's face it: you guys rock!

In other news, Sheila asked me to go with her to a funeral parlor and look at urns.

"Yucko," I answered, "Why?"

"Well, the DH and I want to have all this stuff resolved now so that the kids won't have to worry about it later on down the road," she responded.

So, off we go to Palms West Funeral Home ... to pick out funeral urns. Big fun ... and totally my idea of the perfect day!

"Well, which one do you like?" Sheila asked.

"Ummm ..." I stammered.

"How 'bout this one?"

"Ummmm ..."

"You're no help," she sputtered.

"Ummmmmm ..."

"Never mind," she said, "I'll take the blue one. You know I always look good in blue."

Seriously. No, REALLY. Cross my heart and hope to ... ummmmm ...

~Hugs,

Button, Button, Who's Got the Button?

Geez, just when I was gettin' used to yesterday, along comes today! And just when you were gettin' used to yesterday's card, along comes today's!

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's card was created for Allison's "Suggestive Sunday" blog challenge. This week, Allison challenged us (you to Sistah Sledge), to create a paper project using buttons. Never saw that comin', didcha?

I stamped my focal image on white card stock using Distress ink, matted it, and mounted the whole shebang on a torn-edge piece of Kiwi Kiss card stock. I stamped the kitty, then punched it in the head. Hah! Just seein' if you're payin' attention! I punched the stamped kitty out using a round file tab punch from SU.

I tied some grosgrain ribbon around the piece, adhered six vintage buttons, tied some Kiwi floss to my knot and finis! Hey, don't my buttons look just like l'il tires?

So, yesterday Sheila asked me if I'd like to run to Barnes & Noble with her and her son, Reid, the p-r-o-b-l-e-m child I told you about earlier this week.

Once there, Reid bolted and we started browsing the bestsellers. Several minutes went by and there was no sight of the p-r-o-b-l-e-m child.

"Umm, Sheila, where's Reid? Do you think we should go look for him?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Reid!" she called out. Then louder, "Reid!"

Just as we spotted her son in the next aisle, we bumped into a B & N employee.

"Pardon me, ma'am," he said, "but most folks come here because they already like to read. No sense wasting your time trying to convince them."

Seriously. No. REALLY, seriously. I mean it this time.

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: "Raven" by Bazzill Basics; Stampers Select by Papertrey Ink; "Kiwi Kiss" by Stampin' Up!
• Designer Paper: NONE ... again
• Stamps: "Hocus Pocus" Collection by Close to My Heart; "Party Punch" by Stampin' Up!
• Ink: "Spiced Marmalade" Distress Ink by Ranger; "Black Soot" Distress Ink by Ranger
• Accessories: Grosgrain Ribbon; Vintage Buttons, Personal Collection; Embroidery Floss by DMC
• Tools: Round File Tab Punch by Stampin' Up!; The Ultimate Craft Glue by Api; Scrap Fusion PA by Ivy Hollow; Mini Glue Dots
  
  
  

Make Like a Tree ... and Leave

Hey, there you are! So tell me, how are you plannin' on spending "Moldy Cheese Day?" I'm gonna invite some friends over to help me celebrate ... Lord knows I've got enough moldy cheese to go around. And dear, sweet Sheila volunteered to bring some rotten old wine ... woohoo, sounds like another rip roarin' good time!

ONward Hoarding-Card-Makers:

Today's leafy card project was created using a bucketful of Versamark, a truck-load of gold embossing powder, a tired leaf stamp from Rubber Stampede, and an over-used sentiment from Close to My Heart.

Pretty self-explanatory, no? Check the supply list, below, for info on the products I used, okeedokee?!?

ONE TEENY-TINY TIP: Use an old ruler to keep your lines straight and pen steady while edging with Leafing Pens.

Because Thanksgiving is right around the corner and in an effort to better understand American Indians and their culture, I did some research on the Internet and thought I'd share my findings with you ... 'cuz I {heart} ALL of you Big Lots! Oh, goodie, shopping!! No. Wait. Ignore that last bit.

Okay, it seems like a long time ago in America, there were basically three Indian tribes: the Apache, the Cherokee, and the Fa~Kari.

According to my research, the Cherokee Indians spent some time traveling looking for the ideal place to settle. They ultimately chose a lush valley and named themselves 'Cherokee', which meant "valley" in their tongue.

Similarly, the Apache tribe searched for a place to settle and after some time chose a hilltop, calling themselves "Apache', which meant "hill" in their language.

In the same fashion, the Fa~Kari tribe searched for a place to settle and finally stopped on top of a mountain. Indian legend has it that they looked at each other and said: "Where the Fa~Kari?"

Who knew?!?

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Bazzill Basics; Papertrey Ink
• Stamps: Sentiment by Close to My Heart; Leaf by Rubber Stampede
• Ink: Versamark Watermark
• Accessories: Gold Detail Embossing Powder; Gold Eyelets; Gold Metallic Fiber by DMC; Krylon Gold Leaf Pen
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; Spellbinder's Dies; Heat Gun; Crop-A-Dile; Dimensionals; Scrap Fusion PA

Up Schlitz Creek Without a Paddle ...

Hey, there you are! Allow me to be the first, perhaps the only, person to wish you a happy "Poisoned Blackberries Day!" Which doesn't sound good at all, but, I don't write 'em, I just repeat 'em! My advice? Don't take blackberries from strangers today ... or from your friends.

ONward Hoarding-Card-Makers:

Today's card project was created for my cousin-in-law's birthday. He's a fisherman AND he lives on Schlitz Creek! Seriously. The creek feeds into the Indian River, which is part of the Intracoastal Waterway. The DH goes up there to fish with him all the time and let me tell you: the fishin' is good up Schlitz's creek!

I used my Stamp-o-Graph to position, stamp, color, and restamp my vintage "Uptown" stamp. I love these old woodcut-style stamps; lots of detail and very unique ... but they're getting really hard to find anymore.

I colored my "Schlitz's Creek" image using Koh-I-Noor pencils, blending with Gamsol and a paper stump. The sentiment, from Close to My Heart's May Stamp-of-the-Month, was embossed with copper embossing powder on Vintage Cream card stock.

Using a rectangular Nestie, I cut out an opening on my card front, and mounted the stamped focal image on foam tape inside the card.

Finally, I tied on some vintage cotton twine and ... finis! Easy-peasy-up-Schlitz's-Creek-breezy!

So, the DH got home r-e-a-l-l-y late last night. I waited up and by the time he came home, I was stompin' mad!

"Okay, Mister, what's your excuse for coming home at this hour?"

"Oh," he shrugged, "I was out golfing with Bob."

"Right," I snapped, "at 2 a.m?!?"

"Duh, Deb," he answered, "we used night clubs."

What I put up with ...

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Bazzill Basics; Papertrey Ink
• Stamps: "Canoe" by Uptown Rubber Stamps; Sentiment by Close to My Heart
• Ink: Archival Black by Ranger; Versamark Watermark
• Accessories: Copper Embossing Powder by Copper Kate; Vintage Twine
• Tools: Koh-I-Noor Woodless Colour Pencils; Gamsol; Blending Stump; Die-Cut Machine; Spellbinder's Dies; Heat Gun; Dimensionals; Scrap Fusion PA
  

Three 15 Minute Projects ='s Three Thanksgiving Day Cards

Hey, there you are! Did you know that today is National Comic Book Day?!? Well, it is ... now go forth and admit that you still read comics. I would, if I did, but I don't ... so I won't. Even if I did ... which I do.

Today's trio of Thanksgiving cards were created as samples for a card customer. This particular customer likes her cards two ways: plain or simple ... or both. She chose another sample for her T-day cards, so I'm sharing the rejects with you today. Yes, you're worth more than card rejects but they're not really rejects ... just unwanted. Totally different ... I think.

I stamped my floral images, from the now-retired "Blossom Blocks" set by Close to My Heart, and my sentiment from "Say it in Style," CTMH's May Stamp-of-the-Month, with dye inks on Vintage Cream card stock. I added some v-e-r-y simple embellishments, including those cute button punchies and SU's new Mini-Library Clips.

Easy-peasy and ready to serve in just 15 Minutes ... each.

So, yesterday, on my way to the Village, I waited in stopped-dead traffic for 30 minutes ... why? I'm glad you asked! I waited for a large and lovely flock of peacocks to cross the road ... and I couldn't help but wonder: why did the chickens peacocks cross the road ... and ... why don't I keep my camera in my car?

It seems like every time I have to run down to the Village, I am accosted by the same panhandler, who always asks me for $1.00.

So yesterday, totally exasperated (prolly 'cuz I sat in peacock traffic for a half an hour), I asked him sarcastically, "Why do you ask me for $1.00 every day? Why not ask me for $100* and be done with it!?!"

"I didn't think it wise to put all my begs in one ask-it," he replied.

Seriously.

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: Papertrey Ink; Speciality Card Stock
• Stamps: Close to My Heart
• Ink: Close to My Heart Dye Inks
• Accessories: SU Mini Library Clips; Raffia; Double-Ended-Curly-Ended-Swirl-Thingie; Embroidery Floss
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; Spellbinder's Dies; Button Punch; Dimensionals

*That was a rhetorical question ...

My Cornucopia Runneth Over ...

Well, stamping card makers, we finally have a day we can call our very own: "Festival Of Latest Novelties Day!" Seriously, if there's a group of people who want/need/buy the latest 'novelties' more than stampers and card makers, I'd like to know who that is. So, in honor of the Festival, I will be pre-ordering all the new Spellbinder's dies today*!

ONward H-C-M's:

Today's card project was created using one of the latest novelties Cuttlebug embossing folders, "Pumpkin Harvest."

I used my Koh-I-Noor pencils to color in my stamped cornucopia, blending with Gamsol, then added some dimension to the image using the "plumping" technique. I added some glittery Stickles to the ears of corn, and a Copic marker (W1) shadow, both of which you can barely see. But pretend you do ...

I stamped my CTMH sentiment on Vintage Cream card stock using a stamp from Close to My Heart's September Stamp of the Month. Check it out HERE. I framed the sentiment in an antique copper index frame, matted my card stock with DP from Daisy D's, and shortly thereafter, finis!

So, I spoke to Sheila today ... always an adventure:

"So, how's your Mom been lately," I asked.

"Not good," Sheila answered. "She's got chronic frontal sinusitis."

"WoWzA, that doesn't sound good," I said. "Where did she get that?"

"Reader's Digest. Last month's issue."

On a serious note, be sure to check out Cammie's blog for the most. amazing. blog. candy. give-away. ever!

When you read Cammie's post you'll understand why she, and dozens of other stampers and bloggers are donating to this phenomenal give-away! Be sure to check it out and enter for your chance to win over $1,000 in kewl prizes!!

I will be donating this ^ card to The Artman Home in Pennsylvania in honor of World Alzheimer's Day. Make someone's day ~ send a handmade card to an Alzheimer's caregiver you know ... there's no better time than right now!

Seriously.

~Hugs,

• Card Stock: DCWV; Papertrey Ink
• Designer Paper: Daisy D's
• Stamps: Sentiment by Close to My Heart; Cornucopia by Outlines
• Ink: Archival Black by Ranger
• Accessories: Grosgrain Ribbon; Antique Copper Index Frame and Brads; Stickles
• Tools: Die-Cut Machine; Spellbinder's Dies; A2 Embossing Folder; Koh-I-Noor Woodless Pencils; Gamsol; Copic Marker (W1); Dimensionals; Scrap Fusion PA

*I wish ...